16-year-old stepdaughter banned from family dinners for singing loudly: 'My husband wants me to apologize... and is insisting I allow her to eat with the family again'

Author image for Remy Millisky
Remy Millisky • Writer and Editor
Mar 7, 2025 11:00 AM EST

You rarely have to ask a singer to hear their lovely voice: they tend to sing constantly. You probably knew a few people like that in high school or in your friend group. They're probably into acting or musical theater, and they spend a lot of time singing and dancing to their heart's content. If that person has a great voice, it can be relaxing to listen to them singing. But if their voice is just okay, or is actually pretty bad, you're going to get sick of their warbling fast. 

This family is trying to navigate an awkward situation between their two teens, ages 16 and 18. The older kid is a fantastic singer, while the younger teen is, well, less talented. Her step-parent is growing really tired of hearing her crooning at the dinner table, but other people think that the step-parent took their "punishment" too far. 

Up next, read about some couples who broke up for startling reasons, like one person who "got a divorce when he found out his wife was posting... about their relationship problems."

Advertisement
  • 01
    Cheezburger Image 10476498176
    via A. Calvar. For Unsplash+

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 02

    "AITA for being r*de to my stepdaughter and banning her from eating with the family?"

    I have 2 stepdaughters, Scarlett (18), and Ava (16). Scarlett is an amazing singer. She's been in some kind of voice lessons since she was 10 and just graduated from one of the best performing arts schools in the state, where she went on a full scholarship since 6th grade. She has a YouTube channel where she sings that she's starting to make money from and was accepted into some very prestigious music schools. Additionally, she has
    via u/aitaloudsinging
  • 03
    been working paid gigs for the last 2 years and makes at least $500-1000 per week, more in the summers. She's even been the opening artist at a few concerts. I'm not trying to brag, I'm just saying she's an objectively good singer.
    via u/aitaloudsinging
  • 04
    Ava, on the other hand, is not a good singer. She likes to believe she is and she might become one if she actually stuck with voice lessons or choir classes but she always quits after 1-2 weeks because they're "bu ying her" (giving constructive feedback, I've seen the notes her classmates and teachers have given her).
    via u/aitaloudsinging
  • 05
    Ava also likes to sing very loudly and/or at bad times. For example, if she feels that we're too quiet at the dinner table she starts to loudly sing. It doesn't sound good and I honestly don't know how she doesn't hear it. If you ask her to stop she keeps going and if you're blunt and say stop, that doesn't sound good/we don't want to hear it she keeps going and gets even louder just to annoy you.
    via u/aitaloudsinging
  • 06
    If we're in the car and we don't let her choose the songs she'll loudly sing whatever she wants, not what's playing, to annoy us and responds the same way to us telling her to stop. The only person she listens to is her dad.
    via u/aitaloudsinging
  • 07
    A few weeks ago we were trying to eat and she was singing again. I told her to stop and she refused so I took her plate and told her from now on she is no longer allowed to eat at my table. She can eat in her room, the backyard, her car, the garage, wherever she wants as long as we can't hear her from the dining room and that this will continue until she can behave appropriately at the table.
    via u/aitaloudsinging
  • 08
    My husband and I argued about it but he's not home for dinner so there isn't much he can do about it. Today she was eating lunch with us and started singing again. I told her to stop and she didn't listen so I again took her plate and told her to eat somewhere where we can't hear her if she doesn't want to act appropriately. Ava argued that she's a better singer than Scarlett and that Scarlett sings all the time. I was done with her bulls so I asked
    via u/aitaloudsinging
  • 09
    her how many times someone other than her dad has actually asked her to sing, not even paying her to be there, just ask her to sing or how many performing arts schools she's gotten accepted to (she's applied to many).
    via u/aitaloudsinging
  • 10
    She started to cry and my husband wants me to apologize for being r de to her and is insisting I allow her to eat with the family again. AITA?
    via u/aitaloudsinging
  • 11
    Cheezburger Image 10476499712
    via A. Calvar. For Unsplash+

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 12
    Specialist-Owl2... Okay for almost the entirety of this story I was ready to say NTA until the very end. So her sister gets to sing at the dinner table? Just not her? I mean I think its weird to sing at the dinner table anyways but if you have a double standard going on here then YTA. Ava is
    via u/Specialist-Owl2660
  • 13
    YOUNGER then her sister, sometimes it takes some time to get better at something and acting ride. to her and discouraging her because you clearly don't like her makes you an AH. Either ban singing at the dinner table completely or keep your mouth shut and invoke the thumper rule, "If you can't say something nice don't say anything at all."
    via u/Specialist-Owl2660
  • 14
    Bn0503 ESH - Ava just because she sounds annoying af and you because you're a parent and she's a child and you've (seemingly repeatedly) told her she's not good at something she's passionate about and not in a nice way. Encourage her to follow other pursuits, and definitley continue to enforce that it's inappropriate to loudly sing
    via u/Bn0503
  • 15
    when people want a quiet meal but brutally laying out that she's rubbish at the one thing she's passionate about and rubbing in her failure to succeed is pretty harsh when it's coming from a parental figure. Especially when it's followed up with 'and now go eat alone'.
    via u/Bn0503
  • 16
    SoMuchMoreEa... ESH It sounds like she is very envious of her sister and it's causing her to act out. She's being immature and annoying. But it sounds like you all are very quick to remind her that shes ks at singing. It shouldn't be about how good she is or isn't. It should be about being disruptive
    via u/SoMuchMoreEagle
  • 17
    and loud at the table, in the car, etc. There are times when singing is appropriate and other times when it isn't. If Scarlett were singing loudly at the dinner table, would she be asked to stop? If not, then you guys are extra a holes.
    via u/SoMuchMoreEagle
  • 18
    [deleted] Something tells me she's doing this to try and get attention. How obvious is it that you're so proud of her sister? How much praise and attention does she get? And how often is that done in front of Ava. This sounds incredibly obnoxious but something tells me there's a reason she's doing it.
    via u/[deleted]
  • 19
    Melodic_Salama... It's clear just from your post that you ring Scarlett's praises and cannot stand Ava. If it's that obvious in this post, I'm gonna guess your favoritism is seeping into ava's reality as well. YTA and a bu y. I'd be questioning my marriage if my partner treated my child like this.
    via u/Melodic_Salamander55
  • 20
    scherre It seems pretty obvious to me that Ava feels deeply insecure and inferior next to her hugely successful sister and possibly like there is a standard established now that she will never be able to match. Self-sabotaging behaviour like saying the teachers are being mean and refusing to continue with lessons is a fairly
    via u/scherre
  • 21
    typical response to that situation. I think you might not realise how much your praise of Scarlett's success makes it seem to Ava like you are in fact bragging about the "good kid." Your challenge to her asking how many people invite her to sing or how many fancy schools she's gotten into make it
    via u/scherre
  • 22
    abundantly clear that you DO compare their achievements. Scarlett's achievements are not the way to measure if a child is being successful or not - they are highly unusual and rare. Most people who work towards the same goals do not achieve them, because it's so highly competitive.
    via u/scherre
  • 23
    One of the best pieces of advice I ever got about children and managing and responding to their behaviour is this: all behaviour is a form of communication. Negative behaviours happen because a child is feeling something negative that they don't have the ability to express any other way. It's our job as parents too help them figure it out, and punishment alone
    via u/scherre
  • 24
    is rarely the right way. It's ok to let her know that until she can be non-disruptive in certain situations she will not be allowed to participate, but it's just as important to figure out what is driving her to do this and get to resolve the underlying issue.
    via u/scherre
  • 25
    I don't feel you're an AH over all but speaking to your stepdaughter like you did and directly comparing her to a sibling was definitely an a hole move.
    via u/scherre

Want More? Follow Us and Add Us as a Preferred Source on Google.

Tags

parents of teens Songs teens family drama stepmother aita singing teenagers singers family feud stepdaughter raising teens family
Scroll Down For The Next Article